Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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