very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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