ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
