why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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