Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
