I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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