im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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