Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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