Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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