So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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