2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
