sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
