I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
