im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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