GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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