I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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