Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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