i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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