there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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