He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
