idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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