I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
