I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
