im six kinds of drunk right now
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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