you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
