Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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