distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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