Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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