38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
