Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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