they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
