Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
