Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize