just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
