im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
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