Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
