is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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