I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Randomize
