I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
