Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
As shirtless as possible
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
