So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
