Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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