So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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