1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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