i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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