White coat. Heels.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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