So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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