this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
