it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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