I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
These tits shall not be calmed
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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