i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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