well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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