i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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