nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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