He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
they're like a gay fantastic four
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
